5 Ways to Get Along With the EX

Knowing how to get along with the ex can have many benefits in your life. You and your ex may be in a setting where you are forced to see each other, such as having children together, working together, or having the same friends. Becoming friends with your ex will make these mutual relationships you have together easier, and you will feel better knowing that the hatchet is buried and you have both moved on.

It may not be simple to get along with the ex that you’ve invested your time and emotions into, but we’ll show you 5 ways you can start becoming friends with your ex.

1. Give your ex their space

You and your ex should take time away from each other after a breakup or divorce. Time heals all wounds, physical and emotional, and staying in close contact after such an ordeal is not mentally healthy. Spend time doing things you enjoy, and move forward from the relationship. You won’t be able to let go of the past if you are constantly checking in on each other. If staying apart is impossible due to work, children, or other obligations, then make conversations are short and civil as possible. Don’t ask too many personal questions, a simple hello will suffice.

2. Resolve any painful emotions

Breakups and divorces don’t always go according to plan, in fact, they rarely do. Typically, they start and end with a lot of anger, hate, guilt, and other similar emotions. If the events leading to the breakup are not resolved, they will spark future arguments if you two try and become friends again. Make sure to talk with your ex and get everything out in the open, without arguing, to ensure that you both have moved on from the breakup or divorce. It may not be easy to forgive and forget, but you will have to do both of those if you want to get along with the ex in the future.

3. Don’t put your friends or family between you two

Whatever happened with the breakup is solely between you and your ex. It isn’t fair to your friends or family if you throw them into your argument. The two of you may have mutual friends, or children together, but using them to get to your partner is low. This will only serve to make your future relations with your ex, and the others you’ve involved difficult.

4. Respect your ex’s new partner

Seeing your ex with someone that isn’t you is sure to hurt a little, no matter how much time passes. You may begin to feel jealous, but have to realize what you want from your ex is not a romantic relationship, but a platonic one. Let go of your ego and be cordial with your ex’s new partner. You two don’t have to be the best of friends, or friends even, but just showing that you can be civil and have moved on will make encounters with your ex less awkward.

5. Maintain the friend zone

There is nothing wrong with being friends with your ex, as long as you are satisfied with just being friends. Befriending your ex in hopes that it will lead to something more will just reopen past wounds, and drive a bigger wedge between the two of you. Make sure your behavior is appropriate of that of a friend, and don’t put your relationship with your ex above relationships you have with other friends and family. Be mature about the new relationship you have with your ex, and understand the boundaries of a romantic relationship, and a friendly one.

It’s frustrating to see your ex at social gatherings and not get along; it brings down your mood and the mood of everyone you two know. Being civil for the sake of others involved is important, especially if there are children involved. You and your ex will be happier in the long term, because you’ll be able to speak normally when you see each other, and make encounters much less stressful.