Your Best Friend Dating Your Ex – Is It OK?

Is your best friend dating your ex OK when you’re over 40? The reaction to this is surprisingly different than you’d expect of someone in their 20s or 30s. At first, you may be surprised at your best friends reaction upon them telling you that they are going out with your ex. You may think your friend will betrayed your trust and you never want to speak to them again.

Depending on the relationship your best friend and their ex had, it could be difficult for them to accept what you are telling them, but you have to think about your own happiness too in midlife. As a mature adult, here is how you should react when you discover your best friend is going out with your ex.

1. Smile

Your friend is probably happy to have company. Although your best friend dating your ex may upset you, this person is your ex because they weren’t a good fit for you, but may be for your friend. You smiling will show not only your friend and your ex that you are not upset over their relationship, but will make you feel better knowing that you are not getting in the way of your best friend’s happiness.

2. Look better

If your friend was expecting an argument upon giving you the news, rise above it. There is no reason to lash back verbally. This is no longer grade school, and relationships at this age usually mean more. Focus on yourself and making yourself look better. If you have a partner of your own, focus on your relationship together.

3. Don’t break off friendships

It’s not worth it to lose your friend over an ex. Accept it, but also set boundaries if you feel uncomfortable being together with the both of them in the same room. Having truly close friends are rare and harder to find as we get older, so if this relationship is what makes your friend happy, let it be.

4. Accept it

Your best friend dating your ex can definitely be awkward for the parties involved, and your friend will surely ask you if it is OK to do so. Whether she asks or not, be happy for your friend if they are happy. You’ve dated your ex at one point, but that relationship has ended and it’s time to move on. Yes, it may be difficult for you but it will be more difficult on your friend if you say no. They may see each other anyway and go behind your back, which will make you feel even worse when you find out. Accept that your ex has moved on, and may have found happiness with your friend.

In sum, having your best friend date your ex is uncomfortable, but dating in midlife, we must mature adults now and that relationships are different. Don’t let ex’s bother you, and be happy for your friend’s happiness. You may have already found your happiness, or the right person may be waiting right around the corner.